1.13.2010

coming together...?

as crappy as things have been and as much as i've been complaining, there's something i can't deny:

things will always come together in time.

it's like i know and understand this fact, but maybe i expect too much. i expect everything to be dandy when i wake up one morning. but as i reflect on the last 4 months, i realize that one thing at a time starts to make a little bit of sense.


i have my most emotional, deep thoughts during my ridiculously long drives to and from work. as i was driving, this song was on KOST103.5. and i cried. by myself. i haven't believed what is said in this song or lived it out at all. things haven't been easy. and honestly, these aren't the petty things that can be looked over and glossy-ed up. but my reaction to these situations have been everything but uplifting.

He raises me up.

it's hard living at home. it's hard following these rules. it's hard to feel so insignificant and helpless. it's hard to feel undermined and untrusted. it's hard to feel confused. it's hard to feel misunderstood.

He raises me up to more than I can be.

this is beyond me. it was always beyond me. but pieces are sort of coming together. i have flaws and habits and traits that need to be fixed. maybe that's why im here. maybe...





it's so weird. i love them, and i can't live without them... but when do i grow up? mm.


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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