but being finished with something doesn't mean anything.
it just means something else is there waiting, or already in process.
i need to stop relying on finishing ONE thing, thinking that things will get easier, more relaxed, more clear... there's just no such thing.
you know what else? i feel like i'm waiting. i don't even know what i'm waiting for.
maybe i'm just waiting for my hair to grow out. HARHAR
no but really... what am i waiting for? this is lame. why am i even waiting?! i should be actively pursuing. i should be following a certain path. even if it's wrong, i know there's more. there are options.
that's how blessed i am. i'm beyond blessed.
im blessed but i'm broken. being broken is a blessing too.
my brother and i saw this on one of our windowed doors in our house. if you look at the whole door in person, you want to punch it so it'll just shatter so you don't have to look at it anymore. it makes you itchy. in korean, you basically say.. its jeen geul luh wuh
but up close, you see where the crack starts. you see where it begins... you see where the rock hit to make the whole thing a million different pieces.
i don't know if it's beautiful. but it's still in
tact. as much as i want to just shatter it, its still there. one thing can make us this fragile. but being fragile, can be beautiful. how to learn to be whole again without ever having been broken? we can't.
but even through the brokenness, you see the other side. it's always something to look forward to. no harm. just try, try again.
blair came this weekend. and the lack of sleep was SO worth it. from sleeping on the same bed, to hiking, to drinking and eating BCD at 4am (!!)... it was so wonderful to have a true friend there for me to just be there and be herself. literally, i think she told ALL her friends it was my birthday, even though its not for another week.
HOLY CRAP. im gonna be old... er.
but the one thing i think im gonna remember about being with blair, is the last day... how i can be so comfortable talking to her about things that i often am ashamed to even think about... how i can be so honest and not feel like i'm being judged.
this is the meaning of true friends. this is what it means to be loved. and through it all, i know she's there
CONGRATULATIONS, B! :) btw, did i mention she got into MED SCHOOL!?!?! :D
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