this is my biggest issue. if i have it, i get stressed out thinking that i can't handle it. when i don't have it, i get anxious because i want it. i WANT control of my life. i want control of what my relationships are like, what people think of me, how people react, how i act and react...
i wake up at night cuz i can't breathe. then i can't sleep again because i feel like i stop breathing. the next day, it's no better. i don't know if it's just carried on from the night before, or if i'm still unconsciously stressed about it.
maybe i am physically made this way so that i can know when i'm stressing out or being anxious. if i didn't have these physical reactions to them, maybe i would never know and it would be a thousand times worse in the future.
if i believe He is higher than all created things... then shouldn't things be easier?
no. having this identity is not meant to be easy.
more motivation. more discipline. on its way.
2 more weeks and i will see my mommy. my rock.
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